Trending: #GreekWarriorsinHollowHorse
There are accounts now and again from archeologists revealing that they have unearthed fragments of the original Trojan Horse from this or that dig in Asia Minor.
If you recall the story, after a long siege of Troy that wasn’t getting Odysseus and the Greeks anywhere at all, the Greeks came up with the idea of building a large hollow horse and presenting it as a gift to the Trojans.
Unknown to the defenders, the Greeks used that hollowness to store a few dozen men, and once the Horse was wheeled into the city, they waited until the dead of night to sneak out and start wreaking havoc, starting with the opening of the gates from within.
This is the kind of thing that is just as well to have back in lore and ancient song as it could never be pulled off today.
Today, people talk too much.
A quick calculation shows that out of every hundred words spoken through the entirety of the human era ninety-eight of them have been spoken within the last few weeks.
It is an interesting time and any one is free to wonder if we are due for a swing of the pendulum and within a few months a vow of silence will be taken up by societies across the world.
We can hope.
But we were talking about the Trojan Horse. You know, one of the key items associated with building a thing like that with such a subterfuge in mind is that you need to keep it on the downlow.
‘Mum’s the word’ and’ zip the lip’ are key phrases during the planning and construction phase.
When one solider parts company from another after a certain length of time in front of the campfire, it would have been a common thing to say ‘oh, and on that whole Trojan Horse thing, keep that between you and me.”
A subtle look, a near-imperceptible nod, this is as far as it can go.
There’s a certain something lost if the Greeks, creeping out of the belly of the Horse under the cloak of darkness, are met by a platoon or two of Trojan soldiers there to meet them as they climb down.
It does damage to the narrative arc and Virgil would have had to do some fancy writing to hold the reader’s interest at that point.
No, to an unusual degree the whole schmeer depends on everyone keeping their mouth shut.
Which would never happen today.
Do you really think that television could keep its hands off of an event like this?
It’s made for television. Forget setting the scene with the long aerial shot and bringing the camera in for a close-up of the Horse.
Instead, fix a helmet camera right there on the visors of a couple of the boys so that the viewer can get a real sense of being there is more like it.
Bring in one of those sideline gals from the NFL and turn her loose on a stray Greek warrior wandering around with a hammer in his hand.
Sideline Gal: Over here, I just wanted a word with you. I know people want to hear what the mood is like in there.
Greek Warrior Wandering Around With a Hammer: Mood’s good! Coach says …
Sideline Gal: Speak into the microphone.
Greek Warrior Wandering Around With a Hammer: Oh, sorry. No, the mood’s good! Coach says as long as we play our game we can’t go wrong.
Sideline Gal: And Odysseus, how’s he feeling?
Greek Warrior Wandering Around With a Hammer: Oh, Odysseus is a pro. Let me tell you, you don’t have to worry about Odysseus.
Sideline Gal: What are all of you thinking right now?
Greek Warrior Wandering Around With a Hammer: We’re just trying to keep our focus on the plan. We feel that if we can execute as a team there’s no stopping us.
Sideline Gal: OK, I’ll let you get to the showers, thanks for your time.
Greek Warrior Wandering Around With a Hammer: Any time.
Well, then the Sideline Gal sends it back up to the booth where Don and Chip and Brad have a cutaway model of the Horse that they’re passing back and forth and pointing to its various elements and Brad is saying, “you see, this is where most of the Greeks will hide, up here in what you might call the upper stomach of the Horse,” and Don says, “my goodness, the game has changed since my time, I’ll tell you that much. When we ran this play in college, we had a couple men in each leg, four in the throat, and just a roving linebacker in the belly to keep the Trojans on their toes,” and Chip says, that cutup, “Well I’m just going to go ahead and ask, what if any of the Greeks have to go to the bathroom? What then?” Like I say, a card.
The Bachelorette, on another channel entirely, is seen sitting demurely with a single rose in her hand while we, the viewers, take a gander at the profiles of one of the Greek lads and one of the Trojan boys, and you can tell that she is torn. Well, we all are! They both seem so nice! I mean, what would you do? Which would you choose?
On twitter, under #horsesurprise, the topic is trending pretty high, and higher all the time as the middle of the night approaches.
People have all sorts of comments and advice – well, people do these days – but the prevailing sentiment is that this is already old news and so last eon, can we move on please?
Simple common sense in the use of email, always at a premium, starts to fall apart. One Greek fellow had put together the following note:
To whom it may concern:
Regarding the secret attack on Troy tonight via the Trojan Horse which we are presenting as a gift to the city but which is hollow and is filled with Greek warriors, everyone remember that this is top secret and we’re not supposed to tell anyone.
But then what does he do? He hits “reply all’!
Well, my goodness, talk about a rookie mistake!
Who knows who all was on that original string of emails! Bosses? Board members? That cutie over in accounting? Trojans?
Sure, that’s a possibility, my friend, that’s a possibility. You’ve got to think before you hit the send button, and see who exactly it is you’re writing to. Goodness.
By the time they’re putting boxes of breakfast cereal on the store shelves with images of the Greeks spilling from the belly of the Horse, you have to wonder if the media blitz has gone too far.
Word gets around.
The walls have ears.
You’ve got the whole town chattering away and every communications platform groaning under the load of thousands talking up Trojan Horse this and Trojan Horse that.
You have to expect that the element of surprise is seriously in danger and if the boys pull it off nonetheless it will be because the Trojans themselves can’t take the time to look up from their phones.
