Man Finds Reading Glasses After Eight Years of Incessant Round-the-Clock Searching

Home Life Section

Drury, Oklahoma – Horace Franklin, 54, an office worker in this working class suburb of Oklahoma City, found his reading glasses in the last place he looked after tireless efforts spanning the better part of a decade.

Holding the glasses aloft triumphantly, Franklin said, “I just knew they were around here somewhere! All that I remembered is that I decided to put them someplace special so that I would never forgot where I put them. And then, well, I forgot where that someplace special was.”

Known for his determination and “Oklahoma grit” in the face of adversity, even in the face of his own spectacular lack of memory, Franklin lost his job, house, and credit rating in the course of “The Great Search.” His wife and children disowned him.

“The man is some kind of a nut,” said ex-wife Gladys Franklin. “Why not just buy a new pair of reading glasses at the drug store? But noooooo,” she commented, drawing out the last word to an unusual length.

Effectively a pauper now, Franklin professes no regrets over his commitment to his passion.

“Dang it, it’s the first step in being an effective individual, knowing exactly where everything is so that you can put your hands on it at a moment’s notice. That’s where it all starts. Take these glasses as an example: this time I’m going to put them someplace special where I will never lose them.”